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War News From Middle Earth

MINAS TIRITH (Gondor News Network) - Thousands of
peace activists took to the streets of Minas Tirith
and other cities of Middle Earth today to protest
what they termed a rush to war with Mordor.

"We need more time for diplomacy," said a key member
of the Middle Earth Security Council, Saruman the White.

"I am not convinced by the evidence presented by my
esteemed colleague, Gandalf the Grey, or that the Dark
Lord Sauron presents an imminent danger to the peoples
of the West."

Many of the people protesting war in Mordor agreed with
Saruman's remarks.

"Sauron says he's destroyed his Rings of Mass Destruction
(RMD) and that's good enough for me," said one fellow
carrying a sign that said, "Elrond is a Balrog."

Another demonstrator urged, "Give the RMD inspectors
more time. There's no reason to rush to any judgment
just because Mount Doom is belching lava, the Dark
Tower is rebuilt, and Osgiliath has been decimated."

A third protester piped up, "I haven't heard a single
bit of convincing evidence connecting the Nazgul with
Sauron. I think they destroyed Osgiliath on their own
initiative without any support from Sauron. Besides,
it's understandable they're angry with Gondor. We
haven't done nearly as much for the Orcs and Goblins
and Easterlings as the Nazgul and Sauron have. It's
understandable they throw their support to them. It's
our own fault really."

As the protesters continued their march through the city,
they chanted, "No blood for Mount Doom," voicing a
common sentiment that the leaders of the Western peoples
are really seeking to get their hands on the powerful
Mount Doom, where the One Ring of Power was allegedly
forged.

Gandalf the Grey was unavailable for comment.

A spokesman said he was in an undisclosed underground
location, which sources codenamed: Moria.

(Аз лично много се смях на "Elrond is a Balrog" )

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