Neon Genesis Explosion


A convergence of End of Evangelion with Southpark & the Simpsons

Consider Neon Genesis Simpsonian and Neon Genesis Southparkian and the following flashbacks to be like the "Death" part of "Death and Rebirth."

Prologue Flashbacks:

Episode 2

"Bart's having flashbacks." said Misato.

"Barney, you didn't replace the LCL with LSD, did you?" Homer says.

"Who me?" Then he hides the mug behind his back and burps.

Episode ?

Chef turns to Ritsuko and says, "What does Sempai mean?"

"It's a term of respect, towards one's superior. It's also what Maya calls me, why?"

Chef turns a very strange color and says, "Nothing."

Episode 20

Stan is hallucinating that Misato, Lisa and that substitute teacher he once had are all coming on to him, then he sees Wendy Testaburger. Wendy looks angry and says to the rest of the women, "Get away from him, he's mine." Then they all get into a very vicious brawl. Stand watches this and says, "This was fun, but now I'm outta here."

Misato and Rtisuko sees the Campbell soul turn back into Stan. "About time."

Episode 22

Cartman gets attacked by the Angel that messes with one's mind.

You are a big fatass, the angel says.

"No, I'm not," screams Cartman.

Your mother is a crack ho.

"No, she's not. I'm not listening."

Misato turns to Kenny and says, "Go and save Cartman."

He gamely takes the Lance of Longinus and throws it at high speed at it, only to have one of the fragments of the angel fall at high speed and decapitate him.

Misato shakes her head and says, "That boy has the worst luck."

Now presenting the Main feature:

Seele meets and decide to list all the angels to make sure all of them have been wasted:

Angel 1 Principal Skinner

Angel 2 Tuvok

Angel 3 Kenneth Star

Angel 4 Ranma

Angel 5 Mecha-Streisand

Angel 6 William shatner

Angel 7 Godzilla

Angel 8 Mothra

Angel 9 Itchy and Scratchy

Angel 10 Bill Gates

Angel 11 Sailor Moon

Angel 12 Sideshow Bob

Angel 13 Mecha Al-Gore

Angel 14 Bill Clinton

Angel 15 Elvis Herselves

Angel 16 Jay Leno

Angel 17 Krusty

Mr. Burns, head of Seele, then says to Smithers, "This is the moment we've been waiting for. Now let us all pray for what we all want."

Smithers says, "YES, Sir!"

Meanwhile, as NERV finds that armed troops are moving towards them, Misato says, "Put Lisa Simpson and Cartman in their EVAs and launch."

"But they're both still comatose."

"Just do it. They'll be safer there." said Misato. "Where the hell is Bart?"

Homer turns to Barney and says, "I leave things in your hands. I'm going to Terminal Dogma."

Misato sees Homer leaving, but figures that if he's running away, then there'll be none of his catastrophic interference.

Homer picks up Marge III and takes her down to Terminal Dogma. Ritsuko is waiting for him. She points a gun at him.

"Hey, what is all this about?" says Homer.

"You've made a total mess of this. If it weren't for you, my boyfriend Gendo Rokubungi would've become head of NERV. He wouldn't have messed up like you."

"Ritsie."

"Don't call me Ritsie." She shoots him in the stomach. Marge III accidentally backs into Lilith and well, the mask falls off, revealing a huge Marge. Ritsuko curses, then presses the destruct button on her pocket console, but MAGI refuses to kill Marge. Pissed, Ritsuko decides to hightail it back to Misato.

Meanwhile in the lake, Lisa is clutching her knees and thinking, "I don't want to die, I don't want to die. I don't want to die.

Cartman is curled up in as close to a fetal position as his fat body will allow. I don't want to die, I don't want to die, thinks Cartman.

Suddenly Lisa sees her mom. "Mom?"

"Honey, would you like some brownies?"

Cartman sees his mom. "Mom?"

"Want some cheese poofs?"

Both their machines suddenly activate, and they jump out of the water. Lisa breaks a ship in three and throws it at some missile launchers. Cartman jumps and rolls on top of some tanks, crushing them. Cartman basically crushes the ground troops while Lisa uses her hockey skills and her women's self-defense training to destroy the air troops.

Then they both look up, several Stealth bombers are flying overhead.

Misato looks at the screen. "Damn, the Eva series! And they're using the Kenny dummy plugs."

"The Eva series was completed." says Lisa.

"What the hell!" yells Cartman.

Lisa turns to Cartman and radios, "We only have about three and a half minutes to destroy 9 of them. The only good news is that they're based on the Kenny dummy plugs so they have to die. Oh, you better do your best."

"Don't tell me to do my best you. . ."

"God, do you ever stop swearing." Lisa then gives a battle cry, then smashes one of the EVA series. "Where the hell are you, Bart?"

Misato has managed to drag Bart to the launching area.

Bart turns to her and says, "There's no way in hell I'm riding that thing up there."

Misato points her gun at him and says, "You saw what I did to those three soldiers. Do you feel lucky, punk?"

There's nothing scarier, he thought, than Misato in a bad mood with a gun. "I'll be riding that robot. Yes, indeedy."

She throws him into the plug, and launches it once it's inserted.

"This is the last!" shouts Lisa. then out of the corner of her eye, she sees the Lance of Longinus. She dodges it, but Cartman isn't fast enough and it imbeds itself right in his crotch.

Cartman flops on the ground and vile stream of filth comes out of his mouth that causes one of the eva series to vaporize upon hearing it.

"Oh, Jeez, Cartman, are you all right?" says Lisa.

"What do you think you. . ." Then Cartman goes back to crying and swearing. "I want to kill you all, I want to kill you all."

Lisa sees the Eva series moving from where they had fallen. "Oh, no, the EVA series are reviving."

Finally, Bart shows up. "Lisa, quick, kill them off again and eat their S2 engines."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I'm a vegetarian."

"Gee, Lis, I don't think the world will hold it against you if you bend your principles this one time. Also, I don't think EVAs would be considered meat. Besides, it won't actually be in your mouth."

"Oh, all right." she rips an S2 engine out of a still prone EVA series unit and gulps it down. "Yech," she says. Suddenly, her timer goes right back to 5:00 and holds there.

Stan arrives. "I'm sorry I'm late but the launch wasn't working, so I had to climb up the shaft."

Stan, Bart, and Lisa proceed to gobble up the remaining S2 engines. Cartman manages to eat one after they pull the Lance out. Bart lets out a thunderous burp while all the remains of the EVA series are attacked by swarms of rats chowing down on them.

"Did we do it? Did we stop Third Impact?" Bart says.

"I think so." says Lisa.

Meanwhile, Homer is alone in Terminal Dogma. He only got hit in the stomach, so no blood comes out, only fat. Then he sees Marge in her green dress and pearls standing over him.

"Marge!" he says with joy.

"Homer," she says. "I've forgiven a lot of stupid things in the past, but nearly getting the world destroyed isn't one of them. Especially when it comes to Lisa and Bart having to save it."

"Don't go, Marge."

"I'm sorry, but I have to check on the kids."

Homer bawls, "Doh!"

Misato asks Ritsuko, "There's no other scenario that can lead to 3rd Impact, is there?"

"Well, there is one. If Lilith comes into contact with Jesus, it could happen."

"Man, you should've told me about that scenario. Lilith's escaped. We just saw float up." Misato turns to the screen. "Lisa, Bart, Stan, Cartman, Lilith's escaped Terminal Dogma. Make sure she doesn't accept Jesus into her heart, literally."

Bart turns to Lisa and Cartman. "OK, go to Southpark and stand guard over Jesus. Stand and I will take the Lance of Longinus and try to whack Lilith. However, if we fail, I want you to. . ."

"I can't whack Jesus."

"You have to, the world depends on it."

Lisa turns, then runs off towards Southpark with Cartman running behind her.

Bart takes out his progressive knife while Stan has the Lance. It's then they see the giant Marge walking towards.

"Mom?" says Bart.

"Hey, man, your mom's giant and nude. No, it's Lilith. Waste her, man!"

Bart is too shocked to act. Stan takes the Lance and throws it well, but it just sinks in. Lilith reaches for Bart and begins to absorb him. Stan tries to pull him away, but Bart begins waving the progressive knife at him. Stan, realizing everything's gone wrong, runs towards Southpark.

He sees Lisa guarding Jesus with Cartman standing nearby. "Guys, Lilith looks like Bart's mom and she's absorbed both Bart and the Lance."

"Oh, no, what are we going to do?" says Lisa.

Ritusko consults MAGI, which then gives her a very peculiar answer. Ritsuko says to the three remaining EVA pilots. "All of you still have your positronic rifles, right?"

"Yeah."

"I want you all to fire at her at once and cross the streams of your positronic discharges."

Lisa frowned, "Isn't that really dangerous and likely to annihillate everything within a 200 miles diameter?"

"It's the only thing destructive enough to destroy it. Do you want to be responsible for wiping out the human race?"

Lisa groans. "Stupid Bart."

They see Lilith, or as some people call her, the Giant Albino Marge. Stan starts, then Cartman, then Lisa. They fire, then merge the streams into a weird DNA spiral shape. Lilith shivers, then blows up.

They turn off their positronic rifles to see Bart's EVA unharmed. "Bart!" yells Lisa.

"Lisa, is that you?"

Lisa's red Eva hugs Bart's Eva. "I'm so glad you're alive."

Misato yells, "Hey, this calls for a kegger at my place."

Jesus frowns and says, "Wait, it wasn't supposed to be like this."

Cartman turns to Jesus and says, "You ever pull a stunt like this again, we're going to whip your ass."

Stan turns to Cartman and says, "Don't say that to him."

Jesus says, "I make this covenant that there will be no more Angels from the sky. I shall let mankind's depravity continue unchecked."

Homer,upon hearing that, yells, "Woohoo!" Then he sees Marge standing nearby. "Marge?"

"Well, Homey, wasn't like you actually destroyed the world," she said. They kiss.


THE END

Съдържаниет е скрито
Влезте за да го видите