Madam or Sir:-

I adhere with practically all my might to Oscar Wilde's maxim not to belong to any club that would have me. Thus, while your invitation to register has set me all aflutter, I resisted manfully yet again. You may, however, care to direct your aside to skipp-at-bol.bg. He is a personal friend of mine, and shall let me know of your message directly it arrives.

Incidentally, (lest disappointment should lurk around the hypothetical corner), do bear in mind that I have never taught neither Phonetics, nor yet Phonology. Indeed, having successfully used a 'phone since age four (my bills will testify to this, my God, so they will! Phew!!! Most of the debt should be cleared by the time
-- just a decade or so away now -- when I reach my hundredth anniversary...) I see little need for anyone else to study Phonology, and even less need for anyone to bloody well teach it.

But each to his own! Being of a liberal mind (and a fool to boot!), I shall defend your Professor's right to teach Phonology till the last drop of blood has drained from my body!

Looking forward to your missive with not a little apprehension (for where shall I be if you were to ask me a Phonetical question?), I remain, Sir or Madam,

Your ever obedient servant