What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

What are the three types of men?
The handsome, the caring and the majority.

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need........
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need

What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.

Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

What do UFO's and caring men have in common?
You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.

How do you confuse a man?
You don't have to - they're born that way.

Why don't men die in their sleep?
'Cuz they can't do two things at the same time.

Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? Did it ever happen??

What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

Why don't men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!

Why do men die before their wives?
They should.

Why is it good that there are women astronauts?
So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

What's the best way to kill a man?
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder to "Instruction Manual."



To hear, one must be silent.