===============================================

Lazlow: "Alright, Liberty City, this is your talk radio show Chatterbox, 

        where your opinion matters. Let's go to the phones...hello caller, 

        you're on Chatterbox."

Caller: "Hey, ya ever ate possum, that's some good eating."

Lazlow: "Naah, I really can't say I have."

Caller: "Hell, ya aught to try it sometime, I tell ya man, it's good 

        eating. Possum, raccoons, even zebra meat, cooks up pretty 

        good."

Lazlow: "Err, do you have anything else to say, or..."

Caller: "Pigeons. Pigeons are good too. Sometimes, they come with notes 

        attached...it's like...a fortune cookie with wings. 

        Squirrels...squirrels is not so good, they...taste like 

        goldfish...meat's real stringy...ya know what I mean?"

Lazlow: "Ermm, actually, I can't say that I do...umm...but if I did eat too 

        much squirrel and put on a few extra pounds, I'd use the 

        Dormatron...unlike those other exercise machines that require you 

        to be awake, the Dormatron actually exercises you over night."



[Commercial:]



Woman: "I've tried everything and I just couldn't keep those extra 200

	pounds off! It started to affect my marriage."

Man: "She was too fat for me, and I'll sleep with anything!"

Woman: "The Abdomatrix the Thigh-asizer, tummy stapling, I've had my mouth

	sewn up, my hands chopped off, you name it I've tried it!"

Man: "Except for exercising and eating right porky!"

Woman: "That's right honey! Then I found The Dormatron! Using a new

	technologey called Bio-rhythmic-subconscious-gymnastics, The

	Dormatron exercises you while you sleep. Just strap in your arms and

	legs, put on TheDormatron Headset, then wrap yourself in the special

	high voltage eletric blanket. Turn it up to 11 and burn those pounds

	away while a relaxing nights sleep! Now that I've lost 280 pounds, my

	husbands all mine again!"

Man: "That's right honey, no more escort services for me!"

Male Voice: "Don't be fat a day longer then you have to! Remember, being

	fat can ever ruin a romantic cruise! *Whooo* Call Dormatron now, at

	1-800 sleepofflard. or visit www.sleepofflard.com

	<http://www.sleepofflard.com>, and sleep your way to a thinner,

	happier you!

=================================================

[Equinox Commercial:]



Woman: "I used to be concerned and nervous about the future. Sometimes I'd

	get scared before an important event, such as childbirth, or a family

	funeral. Hey, sometimes you need a little help navigating life's

	trouble spots! That's when I discovered Equinox!" 

Man: "After the divorce and losing little Tommy, life was getting me down.

	I couldn't focus on anything at work. After trying Equinox, I've been

	employee of the month three times in a row! I used to fall

	unconscious for hours at a time, but now with Equinox, I never need

	to sleep." 

Male Voice: "Equinox is new, from Zaibatsu Pharmaceuticals. Ask your doctor

	about Equinox...today." 

Male: <fast speech>"Equinox may cause nausea, loss of sleep, blurred

	vision, leakage, kidney problems and breathing irregularities. Do not

	take Equinox if you are operating any machinery, driving a car,

	pregnant, a child of low age, unhappy or if your family has a history

	of mental disorders. <End fast speech> 

Male Voice: "Equinox...softening life's harsh realities!" 

=====================================

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