Малко смях
5 отговора
161 прегледа
Малко смях
Онзи ден като сърфирах И-нета се натъркнах на някои манга пародийки.
Ето една - Neon Genesis Simpsonian or why can't Shinji be more like Bart Simpson?
Episode 1
"Ay, Caramba." yells Bart as Misato's car gets totally trashed by the N2 shockwave..
"I still have some payments on this." wails Misato. He watches as she takes a bunch of car batteries and fixes the car. Cool, a woman who drives like a demon and a thief, be still my heart, thinks Bart.
As they proceed through the gates of Nerv, he asks Misato, "Hey, man, is this where they have all the dead aliens?"
"No aliens here, we'll be meeting your father."
"Oh."
Misato looks at the boy. My God, he's only got four fingers and he's all yellow and weird looking just like his dad. I just hope he's not as retarded. She involuntarily shivered.
She left him to the room where the Evangelion was stored.
"Bart."
Bart looks up to see Homer standing above, dressed in brown and wearing spectacles. "Dad?"
"Yeah, it's me, boy. Now get into that thing and fight that angel."
"Eat my shorts."
"Why you little. . ." Unfortunatley, Homer leans too far over the railing and falls. He hits the Eva several times on the way down, screaming, "Doh!" each time he bumps into it then falling into the pool holding the EVA. Homer crawls out of the pool. Misato rolls her eyes and Bart laughs in sheer delight.
Homer growls. "Fine, we'll get the other pilot. Hurry up and get Marge."
A blue-haired girl with big hair wrapped in bandages is wheeled into the room. "I can do this," she says sitting up. Then she collapses back on the bed.
"Wait," says Bart, "You're going to make her pilot that? I'm not a chicken. I'll ride it." Then he pauses and says, "I can destroy the local school, right?"
As Bart is sent to the surface, Barney is standing next to Homer drinking a pint. Homer turns to Barney and says, "Stop drinking the LCL."
Barney says, "Hey if it looks like beer, gives me a buzz like beer, it's beer." then he gives a burp.
Homer turns to Ritsuko, "Yo, Ritsie."
"Ritsuko." says Ritsuko with gritted teeth.
"Whatever, make sure Barney doesn't go to Terminal Doghouse anymore."
"Dogma."
"Huh?" says Homer.
Meanwhile, a little boy named Kenji couldn't run fast enough to a shelter and was killed by friendly fire. A friend of his said, "Oh, my god, they killed Kenji! Those bastards!"
Episode 10 or thereabouts:
The Angel splits in two, turning into a very large mouse and an even larger cat, both armed with chainsaws. Lisa, pilot of EVA-02 and Bart both scream and get their butts whipped before the airforce comes to their rescue.
"Oh, great the Angel called, 'Itchy and Scratchy.'" says Barney.
Episode 14
"Stop with your blither-blather and don't bother me with your gobbledygook." says Mr. Burns, head of Seele. "Give me the answers."
Homer tries to look rather mysterious by using shiny sunglasses and folding his hands in front of his mouth, but ends up looking just retarded.. "Everything is going exactly to plan. Just like in the Dead Sea Scones." Mmmm, Scones, he thought.
Mr. Burns nearly shook with rage. "Dead Sea Scrolls. My God, I've put a moron in charge of the project. Didn't an Angel come that close to wiping us out."
"No, actually it was just the nuclear core about to melt, but that's been all taken care of. You can ask MAGI." Homer says. What's left of his brain says, Oh, bravo, then clapped sarcastically.
Episode 24
"What do you mean Krusty the Clown was the last Angel?"
Maya turns to say, "Well, he did have that 3rd extraneous nipple and that weird birthmark."
"Oh, great, a killer clown from outer space." remarks Homer.
Bart groans. "Krusty, how could you?"
Episode 26
"Wait, I know the answer. I am the center of the universe." The walls around Bart break and then everyone starts to clap except Lisa, the 2nd children. "I'm not clapping for that," she says.
THE END
So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scarring induced by hate...
Ето една - Neon Genesis Simpsonian or why can't Shinji be more like Bart Simpson?
Episode 1
"Ay, Caramba." yells Bart as Misato's car gets totally trashed by the N2 shockwave..
"I still have some payments on this." wails Misato. He watches as she takes a bunch of car batteries and fixes the car. Cool, a woman who drives like a demon and a thief, be still my heart, thinks Bart.
As they proceed through the gates of Nerv, he asks Misato, "Hey, man, is this where they have all the dead aliens?"
"No aliens here, we'll be meeting your father."
"Oh."
Misato looks at the boy. My God, he's only got four fingers and he's all yellow and weird looking just like his dad. I just hope he's not as retarded. She involuntarily shivered.
She left him to the room where the Evangelion was stored.
"Bart."
Bart looks up to see Homer standing above, dressed in brown and wearing spectacles. "Dad?"
"Yeah, it's me, boy. Now get into that thing and fight that angel."
"Eat my shorts."
"Why you little. . ." Unfortunatley, Homer leans too far over the railing and falls. He hits the Eva several times on the way down, screaming, "Doh!" each time he bumps into it then falling into the pool holding the EVA. Homer crawls out of the pool. Misato rolls her eyes and Bart laughs in sheer delight.
Homer growls. "Fine, we'll get the other pilot. Hurry up and get Marge."
A blue-haired girl with big hair wrapped in bandages is wheeled into the room. "I can do this," she says sitting up. Then she collapses back on the bed.
"Wait," says Bart, "You're going to make her pilot that? I'm not a chicken. I'll ride it." Then he pauses and says, "I can destroy the local school, right?"
As Bart is sent to the surface, Barney is standing next to Homer drinking a pint. Homer turns to Barney and says, "Stop drinking the LCL."
Barney says, "Hey if it looks like beer, gives me a buzz like beer, it's beer." then he gives a burp.
Homer turns to Ritsuko, "Yo, Ritsie."
"Ritsuko." says Ritsuko with gritted teeth.
"Whatever, make sure Barney doesn't go to Terminal Doghouse anymore."
"Dogma."
"Huh?" says Homer.
Meanwhile, a little boy named Kenji couldn't run fast enough to a shelter and was killed by friendly fire. A friend of his said, "Oh, my god, they killed Kenji! Those bastards!"
Episode 10 or thereabouts:
The Angel splits in two, turning into a very large mouse and an even larger cat, both armed with chainsaws. Lisa, pilot of EVA-02 and Bart both scream and get their butts whipped before the airforce comes to their rescue.
"Oh, great the Angel called, 'Itchy and Scratchy.'" says Barney.
Episode 14
"Stop with your blither-blather and don't bother me with your gobbledygook." says Mr. Burns, head of Seele. "Give me the answers."
Homer tries to look rather mysterious by using shiny sunglasses and folding his hands in front of his mouth, but ends up looking just retarded.. "Everything is going exactly to plan. Just like in the Dead Sea Scones." Mmmm, Scones, he thought.
Mr. Burns nearly shook with rage. "Dead Sea Scrolls. My God, I've put a moron in charge of the project. Didn't an Angel come that close to wiping us out."
"No, actually it was just the nuclear core about to melt, but that's been all taken care of. You can ask MAGI." Homer says. What's left of his brain says, Oh, bravo, then clapped sarcastically.
Episode 24
"What do you mean Krusty the Clown was the last Angel?"
Maya turns to say, "Well, he did have that 3rd extraneous nipple and that weird birthmark."
"Oh, great, a killer clown from outer space." remarks Homer.
Bart groans. "Krusty, how could you?"
Episode 26
"Wait, I know the answer. I am the center of the universe." The walls around Bart break and then everyone starts to clap except Lisa, the 2nd children. "I'm not clapping for that," she says.
THE END
So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scarring induced by hate...
singing Re: Малко смях
Има още две такива пародии на Е. - със South Park и едно със Simpsons i Southpark (каша) и една за Ранма - какво щеше да стане ако Ранма се превръщаше в Акане и Акане - в Ранма
Да поствам ли някоя от тези?
So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scarring induced by hate...
Да поствам ли някоя от тези?
So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scarring induced by hate...
Neon Genesis Southparkian
Добре, тогава направо поствам:
Neon Genesis Southparkian
This is around episode 19.
Cartman is sitting in EVA-02. "I'll show Stan who's the fatboy. . . Come on, you damn Angel."
Stan watches from the sidelines. "Jeez, Cartman got wasted." Stan says as he watches Eva-02 getting totally dismembered by the angel. "We're doomed."
Suddenly Eva-00 comes from nowhere and runs toward the Angel with an N2 bomb. Hyuuga turns to Misato, saying, "Kenny said that since he's going to die anyway, he might as well die a hero."
Stan watches as Eva-00 blows up and mutant rats eat the Eva. "Oh, my God, it killed Kenny. That bastard."
He runs towards the Geofront.
Later, as EVA-01 eats the Angel, Ritsuko remarks, "That's something I'd expect Cartman to do, not Stan."
Scenes from Episode 20.
"We've finally got the monitor to work."
The pilot's chamber is shown on the screen. There is only a sickly yellow liquid with bits of vegetables.
"What is this?" says Misato.
"Stan's melted into Campbell Soup. We need an expert."
Chef is hustled through security. He takes one look at Misato, Ritsuko and Maya, then proceeds to sing, "I'm going to make love to you women, make you lay down by the fire. . ."
"Chef." says Akagi Ritsuko. A little knot of tension appears on her forehead while Maya Ibuki hides behind Ritsuko and Misato has an amused smile.
"The flames'll go higher and higher."
"Chef! Stan's life is at stake."
"I'm sorry, but you're all such lovely women."
Episode 23
"Oh, my God, Kenny is the dummy system."
"Yes, all these are just containers for Kenny's soul. Nothing more. But I hate him because he keeps swearing at me for no reason."
Ritsuko pushes the destroy button.
Bits of Kenny float by in the Campbell's soup. "Oh, my God, you killed Kenny, you bastard." screams Stan.
Chef walks in. "Hey, we can't use this for the school cafeteria lunch."
Episode 24
"Cartman's in a coma? what happened?"
"Well, it was either that last Angel attack or he ate waaaaay too much cheesy poofs."
THE END
фен на Dragonball Z
So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scarring induced by hate...
Neon Genesis Southparkian
This is around episode 19.
Cartman is sitting in EVA-02. "I'll show Stan who's the fatboy. . . Come on, you damn Angel."
Stan watches from the sidelines. "Jeez, Cartman got wasted." Stan says as he watches Eva-02 getting totally dismembered by the angel. "We're doomed."
Suddenly Eva-00 comes from nowhere and runs toward the Angel with an N2 bomb. Hyuuga turns to Misato, saying, "Kenny said that since he's going to die anyway, he might as well die a hero."
Stan watches as Eva-00 blows up and mutant rats eat the Eva. "Oh, my God, it killed Kenny. That bastard."
He runs towards the Geofront.
Later, as EVA-01 eats the Angel, Ritsuko remarks, "That's something I'd expect Cartman to do, not Stan."
Scenes from Episode 20.
"We've finally got the monitor to work."
The pilot's chamber is shown on the screen. There is only a sickly yellow liquid with bits of vegetables.
"What is this?" says Misato.
"Stan's melted into Campbell Soup. We need an expert."
Chef is hustled through security. He takes one look at Misato, Ritsuko and Maya, then proceeds to sing, "I'm going to make love to you women, make you lay down by the fire. . ."
"Chef." says Akagi Ritsuko. A little knot of tension appears on her forehead while Maya Ibuki hides behind Ritsuko and Misato has an amused smile.
"The flames'll go higher and higher."
"Chef! Stan's life is at stake."
"I'm sorry, but you're all such lovely women."
Episode 23
"Oh, my God, Kenny is the dummy system."
"Yes, all these are just containers for Kenny's soul. Nothing more. But I hate him because he keeps swearing at me for no reason."
Ritsuko pushes the destroy button.
Bits of Kenny float by in the Campbell's soup. "Oh, my God, you killed Kenny, you bastard." screams Stan.
Chef walks in. "Hey, we can't use this for the school cafeteria lunch."
Episode 24
"Cartman's in a coma? what happened?"
"Well, it was either that last Angel attack or he ate waaaaay too much cheesy poofs."
THE END
фен на Dragonball Z
So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scarring induced by hate...
Neon Genesis Explosion
Neon Genesis Explosion
A convergence of End of Evangelion with Southpark & the Simpsons
Consider Neon Genesis Simpsonian and Neon Genesis Southparkian and the following flashbacks to be like the "Death" part of "Death and Rebirth."
Prologue Flashbacks:
Episode 2
"Bart's having flashbacks." said Misato.
"Barney, you didn't replace the LCL with LSD, did you?" Homer says.
"Who me?" Then he hides the mug behind his back and burps.
Episode ?
Chef turns to Ritsuko and says, "What does Sempai mean?"
"It's a term of respect, towards one's superior. It's also what Maya calls me, why?"
Chef turns a very strange color and says, "Nothing."
Episode 20
Stan is hallucinating that Misato, Lisa and that substitute teacher he once had are all coming on to him, then he sees Wendy Testaburger. Wendy looks angry and says to the rest of the women, "Get away from him, he's mine." Then they all get into a very vicious brawl. Stand watches this and says, "This was fun, but now I'm outta here."
Misato and Rtisuko sees the Campbell soul turn back into Stan. "About time."
Episode 22
Cartman gets attacked by the Angel that messes with one's mind.
You are a big fatass, the angel says.
"No, I'm not," screams Cartman.
Your mother is a crack ho.
"No, she's not. I'm not listening."
Misato turns to Kenny and says, "Go and save Cartman."
He gamely takes the Lance of Longinus and throws it at high speed at it, only to have one of the fragments of the angel fall at high speed and decapitate him.
Misato shakes her head and says, "That boy has the worst luck."
Now presenting the Main feature:
Seele meets and decide to list all the angels to make sure all of them have been wasted:
Angel 1 Principal Skinner
Angel 2 Tuvok
Angel 3 Kenneth Star
Angel 4 Ranma
Angel 5 Mecha-Streisand
Angel 6 William shatner
Angel 7 Godzilla
Angel 8 Mothra
Angel 9 Itchy and Scratchy
Angel 10 Bill Gates
Angel 11 Sailor Moon
Angel 12 Sideshow Bob
Angel 13 Mecha Al-Gore
Angel 14 Bill Clinton
Angel 15 Elvis Herselves
Angel 16 Jay Leno
Angel 17 Krusty
Mr. Burns, head of Seele, then says to Smithers, "This is the moment we've been waiting for. Now let us all pray for what we all want."
Smithers says, "YES, Sir!"
Meanwhile, as NERV finds that armed troops are moving towards them, Misato says, "Put Lisa Simpson and Cartman in their EVAs and launch."
"But they're both still comatose."
"Just do it. They'll be safer there." said Misato. "Where the hell is Bart?"
Homer turns to Barney and says, "I leave things in your hands. I'm going to Terminal Dogma."
Misato sees Homer leaving, but figures that if he's running away, then there'll be none of his catastrophic interference.
Homer picks up Marge III and takes her down to Terminal Dogma. Ritsuko is waiting for him. She points a gun at him.
"Hey, what is all this about?" says Homer.
"You've made a total mess of this. If it weren't for you, my boyfriend Gendo Rokubungi would've become head of NERV. He wouldn't have messed up like you."
"Ritsie."
"Don't call me Ritsie." She shoots him in the stomach. Marge III accidentally backs into Lilith and well, the mask falls off, revealing a huge Marge. Ritsuko curses, then presses the destruct button on her pocket console, but MAGI refuses to kill Marge. Pissed, Ritsuko decides to hightail it back to Misato.
Meanwhile in the lake, Lisa is clutching her knees and thinking, "I don't want to die, I don't want to die. I don't want to die.
Cartman is curled up in as close to a fetal position as his fat body will allow. I don't want to die, I don't want to die, thinks Cartman.
Suddenly Lisa sees her mom. "Mom?"
"Honey, would you like some brownies?"
Cartman sees his mom. "Mom?"
"Want some cheese poofs?"
Both their machines suddenly activate, and they jump out of the water. Lisa breaks a ship in three and throws it at some missile launchers. Cartman jumps and rolls on top of some tanks, crushing them. Cartman basically crushes the ground troops while Lisa uses her hockey skills and her women's self-defense training to destroy the air troops.
Then they both look up, several Stealth bombers are flying overhead.
Misato looks at the screen. "Damn, the Eva series! And they're using the Kenny dummy plugs."
"The Eva series was completed." says Lisa.
"What the hell!" yells Cartman.
Lisa turns to Cartman and radios, "We only have about three and a half minutes to destroy 9 of them. The only good news is that they're based on the Kenny dummy plugs so they have to die. Oh, you better do your best."
"Don't tell me to do my best you. . ."
"God, do you ever stop swearing." Lisa then gives a battle cry, then smashes one of the EVA series. "Where the hell are you, Bart?"
Misato has managed to drag Bart to the launching area.
Bart turns to her and says, "There's no way in hell I'm riding that thing up there."
Misato points her gun at him and says, "You saw what I did to those three soldiers. Do you feel lucky, punk?"
There's nothing scarier, he thought, than Misato in a bad mood with a gun. "I'll be riding that robot. Yes, indeedy."
She throws him into the plug, and launches it once it's inserted.
"This is the last!" shouts Lisa. then out of the corner of her eye, she sees the Lance of Longinus. She dodges it, but Cartman isn't fast enough and it imbeds itself right in his crotch.
Cartman flops on the ground and vile stream of filth comes out of his mouth that causes one of the eva series to vaporize upon hearing it.
"Oh, Jeez, Cartman, are you all right?" says Lisa.
"What do you think you. . ." Then Cartman goes back to crying and swearing. "I want to kill you all, I want to kill you all."
Lisa sees the Eva series moving from where they had fallen. "Oh, no, the EVA series are reviving."
Finally, Bart shows up. "Lisa, quick, kill them off again and eat their S2 engines."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"I'm a vegetarian."
"Gee, Lis, I don't think the world will hold it against you if you bend your principles this one time. Also, I don't think EVAs would be considered meat. Besides, it won't actually be in your mouth."
"Oh, all right." she rips an S2 engine out of a still prone EVA series unit and gulps it down. "Yech," she says. Suddenly, her timer goes right back to 5:00 and holds there.
Stan arrives. "I'm sorry I'm late but the launch wasn't working, so I had to climb up the shaft."
Stan, Bart, and Lisa proceed to gobble up the remaining S2 engines. Cartman manages to eat one after they pull the Lance out. Bart lets out a thunderous burp while all the remains of the EVA series are attacked by swarms of rats chowing down on them.
"Did we do it? Did we stop Third Impact?" Bart says.
"I think so." says Lisa.
Meanwhile, Homer is alone in Terminal Dogma. He only got hit in the stomach, so no blood comes out, only fat. Then he sees Marge in her green dress and pearls standing over him.
"Marge!" he says with joy.
"Homer," she says. "I've forgiven a lot of stupid things in the past, but nearly getting the world destroyed isn't one of them. Especially when it comes to Lisa and Bart having to save it."
"Don't go, Marge."
"I'm sorry, but I have to check on the kids."
Homer bawls, "Doh!"
Misato asks Ritsuko, "There's no other scenario that can lead to 3rd Impact, is there?"
"Well, there is one. If Lilith comes into contact with Jesus, it could happen."
"Man, you should've told me about that scenario. Lilith's escaped. We just saw float up." Misato turns to the screen. "Lisa, Bart, Stan, Cartman, Lilith's escaped Terminal Dogma. Make sure she doesn't accept Jesus into her heart, literally."
Bart turns to Lisa and Cartman. "OK, go to Southpark and stand guard over Jesus. Stand and I will take the Lance of Longinus and try to whack Lilith. However, if we fail, I want you to. . ."
"I can't whack Jesus."
"You have to, the world depends on it."
Lisa turns, then runs off towards Southpark with Cartman running behind her.
Bart takes out his progressive knife while Stan has the Lance. It's then they see the giant Marge walking towards.
"Mom?" says Bart.
"Hey, man, your mom's giant and nude. No, it's Lilith. Waste her, man!"
Bart is too shocked to act. Stan takes the Lance and throws it well, but it just sinks in. Lilith reaches for Bart and begins to absorb him. Stan tries to pull him away, but Bart begins waving the progressive knife at him. Stan, realizing everything's gone wrong, runs towards Southpark.
He sees Lisa guarding Jesus with Cartman standing nearby. "Guys, Lilith looks like Bart's mom and she's absorbed both Bart and the Lance."
"Oh, no, what are we going to do?" says Lisa.
Ritusko consults MAGI, which then gives her a very peculiar answer. Ritsuko says to the three remaining EVA pilots. "All of you still have your positronic rifles, right?"
"Yeah."
"I want you all to fire at her at once and cross the streams of your positronic discharges."
Lisa frowned, "Isn't that really dangerous and likely to annihillate everything within a 200 miles diameter?"
"It's the only thing destructive enough to destroy it. Do you want to be responsible for wiping out the human race?"
Lisa groans. "Stupid Bart."
They see Lilith, or as some people call her, the Giant Albino Marge. Stan starts, then Cartman, then Lisa. They fire, then merge the streams into a weird DNA spiral shape. Lilith shivers, then blows up.
They turn off their positronic rifles to see Bart's EVA unharmed. "Bart!" yells Lisa.
"Lisa, is that you?"
Lisa's red Eva hugs Bart's Eva. "I'm so glad you're alive."
Misato yells, "Hey, this calls for a kegger at my place."
Jesus frowns and says, "Wait, it wasn't supposed to be like this."
Cartman turns to Jesus and says, "You ever pull a stunt like this again, we're going to whip your ass."
Stan turns to Cartman and says, "Don't say that to him."
Jesus says, "I make this covenant that there will be no more Angels from the sky. I shall let mankind's depravity continue unchecked."
Homer,upon hearing that, yells, "Woohoo!" Then he sees Marge standing nearby. "Marge?"
"Well, Homey, wasn't like you actually destroyed the world," she said. They kiss.
THE END
So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scarring induced by hate...
A convergence of End of Evangelion with Southpark & the Simpsons
Consider Neon Genesis Simpsonian and Neon Genesis Southparkian and the following flashbacks to be like the "Death" part of "Death and Rebirth."
Prologue Flashbacks:
Episode 2
"Bart's having flashbacks." said Misato.
"Barney, you didn't replace the LCL with LSD, did you?" Homer says.
"Who me?" Then he hides the mug behind his back and burps.
Episode ?
Chef turns to Ritsuko and says, "What does Sempai mean?"
"It's a term of respect, towards one's superior. It's also what Maya calls me, why?"
Chef turns a very strange color and says, "Nothing."
Episode 20
Stan is hallucinating that Misato, Lisa and that substitute teacher he once had are all coming on to him, then he sees Wendy Testaburger. Wendy looks angry and says to the rest of the women, "Get away from him, he's mine." Then they all get into a very vicious brawl. Stand watches this and says, "This was fun, but now I'm outta here."
Misato and Rtisuko sees the Campbell soul turn back into Stan. "About time."
Episode 22
Cartman gets attacked by the Angel that messes with one's mind.
You are a big fatass, the angel says.
"No, I'm not," screams Cartman.
Your mother is a crack ho.
"No, she's not. I'm not listening."
Misato turns to Kenny and says, "Go and save Cartman."
He gamely takes the Lance of Longinus and throws it at high speed at it, only to have one of the fragments of the angel fall at high speed and decapitate him.
Misato shakes her head and says, "That boy has the worst luck."
Now presenting the Main feature:
Seele meets and decide to list all the angels to make sure all of them have been wasted:
Angel 1 Principal Skinner
Angel 2 Tuvok
Angel 3 Kenneth Star
Angel 4 Ranma
Angel 5 Mecha-Streisand
Angel 6 William shatner
Angel 7 Godzilla
Angel 8 Mothra
Angel 9 Itchy and Scratchy
Angel 10 Bill Gates
Angel 11 Sailor Moon
Angel 12 Sideshow Bob
Angel 13 Mecha Al-Gore
Angel 14 Bill Clinton
Angel 15 Elvis Herselves
Angel 16 Jay Leno
Angel 17 Krusty
Mr. Burns, head of Seele, then says to Smithers, "This is the moment we've been waiting for. Now let us all pray for what we all want."
Smithers says, "YES, Sir!"
Meanwhile, as NERV finds that armed troops are moving towards them, Misato says, "Put Lisa Simpson and Cartman in their EVAs and launch."
"But they're both still comatose."
"Just do it. They'll be safer there." said Misato. "Where the hell is Bart?"
Homer turns to Barney and says, "I leave things in your hands. I'm going to Terminal Dogma."
Misato sees Homer leaving, but figures that if he's running away, then there'll be none of his catastrophic interference.
Homer picks up Marge III and takes her down to Terminal Dogma. Ritsuko is waiting for him. She points a gun at him.
"Hey, what is all this about?" says Homer.
"You've made a total mess of this. If it weren't for you, my boyfriend Gendo Rokubungi would've become head of NERV. He wouldn't have messed up like you."
"Ritsie."
"Don't call me Ritsie." She shoots him in the stomach. Marge III accidentally backs into Lilith and well, the mask falls off, revealing a huge Marge. Ritsuko curses, then presses the destruct button on her pocket console, but MAGI refuses to kill Marge. Pissed, Ritsuko decides to hightail it back to Misato.
Meanwhile in the lake, Lisa is clutching her knees and thinking, "I don't want to die, I don't want to die. I don't want to die.
Cartman is curled up in as close to a fetal position as his fat body will allow. I don't want to die, I don't want to die, thinks Cartman.
Suddenly Lisa sees her mom. "Mom?"
"Honey, would you like some brownies?"
Cartman sees his mom. "Mom?"
"Want some cheese poofs?"
Both their machines suddenly activate, and they jump out of the water. Lisa breaks a ship in three and throws it at some missile launchers. Cartman jumps and rolls on top of some tanks, crushing them. Cartman basically crushes the ground troops while Lisa uses her hockey skills and her women's self-defense training to destroy the air troops.
Then they both look up, several Stealth bombers are flying overhead.
Misato looks at the screen. "Damn, the Eva series! And they're using the Kenny dummy plugs."
"The Eva series was completed." says Lisa.
"What the hell!" yells Cartman.
Lisa turns to Cartman and radios, "We only have about three and a half minutes to destroy 9 of them. The only good news is that they're based on the Kenny dummy plugs so they have to die. Oh, you better do your best."
"Don't tell me to do my best you. . ."
"God, do you ever stop swearing." Lisa then gives a battle cry, then smashes one of the EVA series. "Where the hell are you, Bart?"
Misato has managed to drag Bart to the launching area.
Bart turns to her and says, "There's no way in hell I'm riding that thing up there."
Misato points her gun at him and says, "You saw what I did to those three soldiers. Do you feel lucky, punk?"
There's nothing scarier, he thought, than Misato in a bad mood with a gun. "I'll be riding that robot. Yes, indeedy."
She throws him into the plug, and launches it once it's inserted.
"This is the last!" shouts Lisa. then out of the corner of her eye, she sees the Lance of Longinus. She dodges it, but Cartman isn't fast enough and it imbeds itself right in his crotch.
Cartman flops on the ground and vile stream of filth comes out of his mouth that causes one of the eva series to vaporize upon hearing it.
"Oh, Jeez, Cartman, are you all right?" says Lisa.
"What do you think you. . ." Then Cartman goes back to crying and swearing. "I want to kill you all, I want to kill you all."
Lisa sees the Eva series moving from where they had fallen. "Oh, no, the EVA series are reviving."
Finally, Bart shows up. "Lisa, quick, kill them off again and eat their S2 engines."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"I'm a vegetarian."
"Gee, Lis, I don't think the world will hold it against you if you bend your principles this one time. Also, I don't think EVAs would be considered meat. Besides, it won't actually be in your mouth."
"Oh, all right." she rips an S2 engine out of a still prone EVA series unit and gulps it down. "Yech," she says. Suddenly, her timer goes right back to 5:00 and holds there.
Stan arrives. "I'm sorry I'm late but the launch wasn't working, so I had to climb up the shaft."
Stan, Bart, and Lisa proceed to gobble up the remaining S2 engines. Cartman manages to eat one after they pull the Lance out. Bart lets out a thunderous burp while all the remains of the EVA series are attacked by swarms of rats chowing down on them.
"Did we do it? Did we stop Third Impact?" Bart says.
"I think so." says Lisa.
Meanwhile, Homer is alone in Terminal Dogma. He only got hit in the stomach, so no blood comes out, only fat. Then he sees Marge in her green dress and pearls standing over him.
"Marge!" he says with joy.
"Homer," she says. "I've forgiven a lot of stupid things in the past, but nearly getting the world destroyed isn't one of them. Especially when it comes to Lisa and Bart having to save it."
"Don't go, Marge."
"I'm sorry, but I have to check on the kids."
Homer bawls, "Doh!"
Misato asks Ritsuko, "There's no other scenario that can lead to 3rd Impact, is there?"
"Well, there is one. If Lilith comes into contact with Jesus, it could happen."
"Man, you should've told me about that scenario. Lilith's escaped. We just saw float up." Misato turns to the screen. "Lisa, Bart, Stan, Cartman, Lilith's escaped Terminal Dogma. Make sure she doesn't accept Jesus into her heart, literally."
Bart turns to Lisa and Cartman. "OK, go to Southpark and stand guard over Jesus. Stand and I will take the Lance of Longinus and try to whack Lilith. However, if we fail, I want you to. . ."
"I can't whack Jesus."
"You have to, the world depends on it."
Lisa turns, then runs off towards Southpark with Cartman running behind her.
Bart takes out his progressive knife while Stan has the Lance. It's then they see the giant Marge walking towards.
"Mom?" says Bart.
"Hey, man, your mom's giant and nude. No, it's Lilith. Waste her, man!"
Bart is too shocked to act. Stan takes the Lance and throws it well, but it just sinks in. Lilith reaches for Bart and begins to absorb him. Stan tries to pull him away, but Bart begins waving the progressive knife at him. Stan, realizing everything's gone wrong, runs towards Southpark.
He sees Lisa guarding Jesus with Cartman standing nearby. "Guys, Lilith looks like Bart's mom and she's absorbed both Bart and the Lance."
"Oh, no, what are we going to do?" says Lisa.
Ritusko consults MAGI, which then gives her a very peculiar answer. Ritsuko says to the three remaining EVA pilots. "All of you still have your positronic rifles, right?"
"Yeah."
"I want you all to fire at her at once and cross the streams of your positronic discharges."
Lisa frowned, "Isn't that really dangerous and likely to annihillate everything within a 200 miles diameter?"
"It's the only thing destructive enough to destroy it. Do you want to be responsible for wiping out the human race?"
Lisa groans. "Stupid Bart."
They see Lilith, or as some people call her, the Giant Albino Marge. Stan starts, then Cartman, then Lisa. They fire, then merge the streams into a weird DNA spiral shape. Lilith shivers, then blows up.
They turn off their positronic rifles to see Bart's EVA unharmed. "Bart!" yells Lisa.
"Lisa, is that you?"
Lisa's red Eva hugs Bart's Eva. "I'm so glad you're alive."
Misato yells, "Hey, this calls for a kegger at my place."
Jesus frowns and says, "Wait, it wasn't supposed to be like this."
Cartman turns to Jesus and says, "You ever pull a stunt like this again, we're going to whip your ass."
Stan turns to Cartman and says, "Don't say that to him."
Jesus says, "I make this covenant that there will be no more Angels from the sky. I shall let mankind's depravity continue unchecked."
Homer,upon hearing that, yells, "Woohoo!" Then he sees Marge standing nearby. "Marge?"
"Well, Homey, wasn't like you actually destroyed the world," she said. They kiss.
THE END
So maybe I am bound by fate, a problematic scarring induced by hate...