Capitalism (two cows)
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Capitalism (two cows)
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report
says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow
to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
the numbers.
A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report
says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow
to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
the numbers.
A WELSH CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
а ето какво ми отговориха
a Bulgarian corporation:
you have two cows, you start fighting with your brother on who is really
holder of the ownership rights on them, based on a review of the
developments during the last 22 generations. Then your cousin starts arguing
with the first cow because she does not produce milk already with sugar
inside. A Bulgarian bull is meanwhile beating the second cow because she has
not prepared the dinner, while several foreign bulls run around like crazy
because they find the cows so beautiful and are arrested under charge of mad
cow disease. In the end the two cows are sold to an Israeli for a ridiculous
price.
може би
you have two cows, you start fighting with your brother on who is really
holder of the ownership rights on them, based on a review of the
developments during the last 22 generations. Then your cousin starts arguing
with the first cow because she does not produce milk already with sugar
inside. A Bulgarian bull is meanwhile beating the second cow because she has
not prepared the dinner, while several foreign bulls run around like crazy
because they find the cows so beautiful and are arrested under charge of mad
cow disease. In the end the two cows are sold to an Israeli for a ridiculous
price.
може би