Dear Diary: Aug 12th Moved to our new home in Michigan. It is so beautiful here. The scenery is wonderful. Can hardly wait to see it with snow covering the landscape. I love it here. Oct 14th Michigan is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors with shades of red and orange. Went for a ride in the country and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on Earth. This must be Paradise. I love it here. Nov 11th Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here. Dec 2nd It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Michigan. Dec 12th More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick to the driveway again. I love it here. Dec 19th More snow last night. I couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Damn snow plow. Dec 22nd More of that white @!#$ fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around the curve and waits until I am done shoveling the driveway. Dec 25th Merry stinking Christmas. More damn snow! If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the damn ice. Dec 28th More white @!#$ last night. Been inside for 3 days except for shoveling out the driveway after everytime the snow plow goes through. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white @!#$. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the @!#$ again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow are in 10"?? Dec 29th The stinking weatherman was wrong. We got 32" of that white @!#$ this time. At this rate it won't melt before next summer. The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had already broken six shovels while shoveling all the @!#$ he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his damn head. Jan 4th Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those damn beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November. May 3rd Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from that damned salt they put all over the road. May 10th Moved to Arizona. I can't imagine why anyone in his right mind would ever live in the state of Michigan.