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Това са няколко урока, които биха могли да помогнат на всекиго с по нещо:))
Corporate Lesson 1
A man was getting into the shower
just as his wife was finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rang.
The wife quickly wrapped herself
in a towel and ran downstairs.
When she opened the door, there
stood Bob, the next door neighbor.
Before she said a word, Bob said, "I'll
give you $800 to drop that towel."
After she thought about it for a moment,
the woman dropped her towel and
stood naked in front of Bob.
Bob then handed her $800 and left.
The woman picked up the towel,
wrapped herself in it, and then
went back upstairs.
When she returned to the bathroom,
her husband asked, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob, the next door neighbor,"
she said.
"Great!" said the husband.
"Did he say anything about the
$800 he owed me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information
pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders ahead of time,
then you may be in a position to
prevent unnecessary exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2
A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
She got in and crossed her legs,
which caused her gown to reveal
her leg. The priest nearly had an
accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid
his hand up her leg. The nun said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his
hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized. "Sorry sister
but '...The flesh is weak.' "
Arriving at the convent, the nun went
on her way.
Corporate Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administrative clerk,
and the manager were walking to lunch
when they found an antique oil lamp.
They rubbed it and out came a a Genie.
The Genie said, "I'll give each of you just
one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" said the
administrative clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without
a care in the world.
"Poof!" She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" said the sales rep.
"I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the
beach with my personal masseuse,
an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life."
"Poof!" He's gone.
"Okay, you're up," said the Genie to the
manager.
The manager said, "I want to have those
two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say
Corporate Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing
nothing all day.
A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like
you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered, "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below
the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you
must be seated very high up.
Corporate Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree, sighed the turkey,
but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my
droppings?" said the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump
of dung and found that it gave
him enough strength to reach
the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more
dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, he
was proudly perched at the top of the
tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer
who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top,
but it won't keep you there
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Corporate lessons
