Leaving the world

Oh, it`s so complicated
But maybe there is a light
Among all that darkness…
Maybe I can fix all this mess
That has overcome me….

I feel so depressed, I feel so incomplete,
I`m an idiot, I am a bitch
I hate everything and I hate everybody
But most of all I hate myself!
That makes me feel so sad
That makes me think about killing myself…
Why am I in this situation now?
How have I come here? What have I done?
Everything is a mess, I`m doing mistake by mistake….
There`s nothing I can understand
There`s nothing left except darkness and sadness
I`m so missunderstood…

Does even anybody like me?
`cause I`m sure that nobody can love me
I just wanna die, to escape of that prison,
The prison of the mortal life
It`s so easy, but it`s difficult to me
And only I could know what to do
But I don`t know it now…
What`s the right decision?
What should I have to do?
What`s my mission in this world? What is my vocation?
Is there anybody who cares for my fate?…

I feel depressed, I feel unloved
Could ever anybody help me?
Is there anything that costs it to believe in?
I just know that whole life`s a lie
That`s the reason of which I wanna die
I`ll leave the Big lie which I don`t wanna join…
Cause now for me the life don`t cost even a coin

Nothing to believe in…nobody to love…
Nobody who cares me…nobody to love me
Everywhere`s the darkness only,
The silence and the death…
I`ll permit them to devour me
From now on I will sink in them
And I will reach the coast of human never again…
And I will never have the things I`ve never had…
And I will never understand what is to be truly loved…
Cause from now on there is no more me

I`m gone from this world,
And “myself” doesn`t exist anymore….

Beyond life and death, above the heaven & below the hell, there was...ME