The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will

be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was

the other possibility.



As part of the negotiations, the British Government

conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has

accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".



In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will

make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in

favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards ka n have one

less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when

the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like

fotograf 20% shorter.



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new

spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes

are possible.



Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters

which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.



Also, al wil agre

that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it

should go away.



By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".



During ze fifz yer, ze

unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz

yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.



Zer vil be no mor trubl or

difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a

united urop vil finali kum tru.



Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be

speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.



If zis mad you smil,

pleas pas on to oza pepl