You might think daily life in Javaland would be at best a little strange, and at worst grossly inefficient. But you can tell how happy a society is through their nursery rhymes, and Javaland's are whimsically poetic. For instance, Javaland children oft recite the famous cautionary tale:

 

For the lack of a nail,

    throw new HorseshoeNailNotFoundException("no nails!");



For the lack of a horseshoe,

    EquestrianDoctor.getLocalInstance().getHorseDispatcher().shoot();



For the lack of a horse,

    RidersGuild.getRiderNotificationSubscriberList().getBroadcaster().run(

      new BroadcastMessage(StableFactory.getNullHorseInstance()));



For the lack of a rider,

    MessageDeliverySubsystem.getLogger().logDeliveryFailure(

      MessageFactory.getAbstractMessageInstance(

        new MessageMedium(MessageType.VERBAL),

        new MessageTransport(MessageTransportType.MOUNTED_RIDER),

        new MessageSessionDestination(BattleManager.getRoutingInfo(

                                        BattleLocation.NEAREST))),

      MessageFailureReasonCode.UNKNOWN_RIDER_FAILURE);



For the lack of a message,

    ((BattleNotificationSender)

      BattleResourceMediator.getMediatorInstance().getResource(

        BattleParticipant.PROXY_PARTICIPANT,

        BattleResource.BATTLE_NOTIFICATION_SENDER)).sendNotification(

          ((BattleNotificationBuilder)

            (BattleResourceMediator.getMediatorInstance().getResource(

            BattleOrganizer.getBattleParticipant(Battle.Participant.GOOD_GUYS),

            BattleResource.BATTLE_NOTIFICATION_BUILDER))).buildNotification(

              BattleOrganizer.getBattleState(BattleResult.BATTLE_LOST),

              BattleManager.getChainOfCommand().getCommandChainNotifier()));



For the lack of a battle,

    try {

        synchronized(BattleInformationRouterLock.getLockInstance()) {

          BattleInformationRouterLock.getLockInstance().wait();

        }

    } catch (InterruptedException ix) {

      if (BattleSessionManager.getBattleStatus(

           BattleResource.getLocalizedBattleResource(Locale.getDefault()),

           BattleContext.createContext(

             Kingdom.getMasterBattleCoordinatorInstance(

               new TweedleBeetlePuddlePaddleBattle()).populate(

                 RegionManager.getArmpitProvince(Armpit.LEFTMOST)))) ==

          BattleStatus.LOST) {

        if (LOGGER.isLoggable(Level.TOTALLY_SCREWED)) {

          LOGGER.logScrewage(BattleLogger.createBattleLogMessage(

            BattleStatusFormatter.format(BattleStatus.LOST_WAR,

                                         Locale.getDefault())));

        }

      }

    }



For the lack of a war,

    new ServiceExecutionJoinPoint(

      DistributedQueryAnalyzer.forwardQueryResult(

        NotificationSchemaManager.getAbstractSchemaMapper(

          new PublishSubscribeNotificationSchema()).getSchemaProxy().

            executePublishSubscribeQueryPlan(

              NotificationSchema.ALERT,

              new NotificationSchemaPriority(SchemaPriority.MAX_PRIORITY),

              new PublisherMessage(MessageFactory.getAbstractMessage(

                MessageType.WRITTEN,

                new MessageTransport(MessageTransportType.WOUNDED_SURVIVOR),

                new MessageSessionDestination(

                  DestinationManager.getNullDestinationForQueryPlan()))),

              DistributedWarMachine.getPartyRoleManager().getRegisteredParties(

                PartyRoleManager.PARTY_KING ||

                PartyRoleManager.PARTY_GENERAL ||

                PartyRoleManager.PARTY_AMBASSADOR)).getQueryResult(),

        PriorityMessageDispatcher.getPriorityDispatchInstance())).

      waitForService();



All for the lack of a horseshoe nail.