Smeagolian Rhapsody
(To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)


Gandalf: Is this the Smeagol,
Or is this just Gollum here,
Trapped in the mountains,
No escape from these Goblins here,
Listen now hark,
Go into the dark and be.

Smeagol:I'm just a Smeagol, I need no sympathy,
Because the fishes come, fishes go,
I'm happy here, down below,
Anywhere my ring goes, will not be too far off from me,
From me.

Bilbo, just stole my ring,
Made me play a riddle game,
Baggins cheated, curse his name,
Precious, your my only love,
But Baggins came and stole you all away,
Precious, ooo,
Didn't mean to let you slip,
If I don't find you by this time tomorrow,
I'll search on, I'll search on,
As if nothing else will matter.

Too late, the Dark Lord's come,
Sends shivers down my spine,
Asking questions all the time,
Goodbye to my precious, I've got to go,
Gotta tell this disembodied eye the truth,
Precious, ooo,
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

I see a little silhoueto of a Sam,
Scour brush, scour brush, got to clean the pots brightly,
When he's got ropes he's frightning,
Seems to enjoy tightning me,
Frodo Baggins, Frodo Baggins,
Frodo Baggins, Frodo Baggins,
Frodo Baggins, nice master - and ring thief's heir,
I'm just a gollum, nobody loves me.

Choir:
He's just a poor boy, from a Stoor family,
Spare him his ring and just let him go free.

Smeagol:
Precious come, precious go, will you let me go?

Gandalf and choir:
No Gollum! No, we will not let you go.

Smeagol:Let me go!

Gandalf and choir:
No Slinker! No, we will not let you go.

Smeagol:Let me go!

Gandalf and choir:
No Stinker! We will not let you go.

Smeagol:Let me go!

Gandalf and choir:
Will not let you go.

Smeagol:Let me go!

Gandalf and choir:
Never let you go.

Smeagol:Let me go!
No, no, no, no ,no, no.
Frodo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Frodo Baggins let me go,
Dark Lord Sauron has a Nazgul set aside for me.

So you thought you could rob me and spit in my eye,
So you thought you could use me and leave me to die,
Oh, Baggins, can't do this to me Baggins,
Just gotta bight out,
Just take a bight right out of you.

Nothing else can matter, anyone can see,
Nothing else can matter, nothing else can matter to me.

Anywhere my my ring goes....


What is this thing that builds our dreams
Yet slips away from us?