Aw Shit...

Ghost Shit
That's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.

Clean Shit
The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Second Wave Shit
It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to shit some more.

Brain Hemorrage Shit
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " shit. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

Sweetcorn shit
Self Explanatory

Log shit
The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush

Drinkers shit
That is the kind of shit that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .

"Gee I wish I could shit" shit
Its the kind of shit where you want to shit, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Shit
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Shit Also known as "The Power dump"
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

Liquid Shit
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

Mexican Food Shit
A class all its own

The Crowd Pleaser
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.

Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.

The Ritual
This shit occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper

Guiness Book of Records Shit
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations

The aftershock shit
This shit has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is effected.

The Honeymoons over shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.

Groaner
Ashit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance

Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushes

Ranger
A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper

Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there

Peek-a-boo-shit
Now you see it, now you don't. this shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control

The bombshell
A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.

Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless Olympic Shit This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers shit.

Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-Oscar Wilde